Honesty

Kids are sooooo honest!! We have two boys ages 10 and 16. Our 10 year old is on an honesty push. He would rather eat liver than tell an untruth. Last night he was watching his 16 year old brother flex his still developing musculature in the mirror. The 10 year old asked the 16 year old what those "funny bumps" were on his stomach. The older guy indicated that "that is called a six pack". The 10 year old thought a few seconds and asked his older brother why his Dad only has a "one pack".

A few weeks ago the house got incredibly quiet as I read the newspaper. My wife was supposedly taking a shower. Our 16 year old was out of the house with friends. The 10 year old was supposedly playing in his room. It was the sort of quiet that parents with kids view as un-natural. Immediately my parent instincts went into effect - Something must be going on ..... quiet does not exist in a home with two kids...... I immediately sprang into action to determine the cause of the quiet problem. I slowly crept down the hallway past the bedrooms peering into each one expecting to see "no good". As I entered our bedroom I saw a pair of white socks on 10 year old feet sticking out from behind our dresser near the bathroom door on the other side of which my wife was showering. The door was cracked slightly and the little guy had his nose and one eye mushed up against the crack of light, coming from the bathroom, as he stared intently at the "mother-lode". I asked in a quiet voice what he was doing and he shot to attention as if found sleeping on the job. His reply was "I just wanted to see what she got". I asked if he saw anything and he told me the shower door was steamed up "but you can still sort of see". He then asked if I "wanted to peek too".

Our 16 year old got his drivers license yesterday! Lord have mercy on my soul. He is a responsible kid who is a good driver for a beginner. He only wrecked my new car once while he had his temps. He was driving with my wife at night and was still on our long driveway. He decided that he should stop and back up to the house to turn off a light. My wife cautioned him against doing so and he promptly put our high-powered super-charged "Chick-Picker-Up'er" 2005 Gold Buick Century in reverse and powered up the driveway at high speed. My wife told him to slow down but a male does not listen to a woman's instructions on driving a car. What happened next included leaving the driveway and T-Boning a 3 inch elm tree located 25 feet off the driveway, denting the gas tank, blowing off the driver side mirror, and destroying my new pristine rear bumper. Did I mention the paint scratch down the drivers side of the car where the branches shot out from under the car and hammered the new paint? But he's a great kid..... I'm sure I have no worries with him hurtling along the highway in 4000 lbs of American iron at 65 mph...... Lord have mercy on my soul.

I forgot to mention that I am one of the fortunate workers in America. I only work half days...... 6 AM to 6 PM.